Coming up with a baby name that both you and your partner like isn’t always easy. You might have a list of dream names, but if your partner or co-parent doesn’t like your suggestions, then a compromise needs to be found. After all, it takes two people to make a baby, so both parties should get an equal say in what the child is called.
Most parents understand this, while others come up with their own solution, such as deciding that the mother names the first child while the father names the second, or that one parent picks the middle name. But one dad on social media has asked for advice because his pregnant wife is unwilling to compromise on what she wants to name their child – and he thinks it’s risking their future.
In a post on Reddit, the dad-to-be said he’s expecting a baby girl with his wife, and the pair want to call her Alexandra. While the name is fairly common, the mum wants to make it more “unique” by spelling it differently, but the dad believes they’d be making a big mistake.
He wrote: “My wife wants to name our daughter Alexzandra. I prefer the classic version, Alexandra, but she wants the name to be unique. I think it’s a little tacky.”
Commenters on the post were torn on the subject. Many told the dad that his daughter’s name should be something he and his wife both agree on, and begged him to try and convince his wife to move away from the unique spelling.
One person said: “Oh my god, please don’t do that to your daughter. Tacky and extremely annoying. Imagine how many times she’ll have to say, ‘No, Alexandra with a z, yes, in the middle’.”
Another added: “It is tacky. Don’t do it. Your daughter will be unique because there is no other human to ever exist that is everything she is, not because of the spelling of her name.”
A third wrote: “Uniquely spelt normal names are the cruellest thing you can do to a child. Their name shouldn’t be the most interesting thing about them! Veto that into oblivion! Alexandra is a perfect name!”
But others tried to reassure him that the “Alexzandra” spelling wasn’t too out-there, and people would still know how to pronounce his daughter’s name. They also suggested a compromise that involved spelling the name the traditional way, but allowing her to be nicknamed “Zandra”.
Someone wrote: “I would try to advocate for Alexandra for the legal name and use Zandra as a nickname.” Replying to this, another said: “I knew a Zandra at university. That was her proper name, not a nickname, and I always thought it was lovely.”
Someone else shared: “Aleksandra? Normal spelling in some parts of the world, but still unique.”
Giving your child an unusually-spelled name is not illegal in the UK, but there are some rules you should bear in mind before choosing your child’s name.
You cannot give your child names which:
- Are offensive or obscene
- Have numbers of symbols, such as James2 or @Victoria
- Are misleading, such as title-based names like Queen or Lord
- Are impossible to pronounce
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According to the UK Deed Poll Office, names that are racist or considered to be harmful to the child could be illegal and banned in some parts of the UK.