Many people fret about what surname they should give their baby if they aren’t married to their partner, and one expectant mum has admitted that she might just give her baby her own surname as her partner is ‘dragging his heels’ when it comes to proposing.
The woman shared her dilemma on Reddit’s r/BabyNames forum, as she said herself and her partner had ‘talked about marriage’ before she even got pregnant. However, she said he hasn’t mentioned it for a while, even know he knows how much it means to her to have the same surname as her child. Writing on the forum, she said: “If a child is being born out of wedlock, but parents are still very much together and happy should baby get mum’s last name, or dad’s?
“Backstory, I am pregnant, in my second trimester with my son. I’ve been with my current partner for a while, and even before baby was conceived we were talking about marriage, our future, etc.
“When we found out I was pregnant we were both extremely excited regardless of societies views on ‘getting pregnant prior to marriage’. I’ve expressed to my man the importance of me wanting the same last name as my child and he has mentioned getting married a few times, but is dragging his feet on it.”
She added: “It seemed like when we first found out we were pregnant he was all about it, but hasn’t mentioned it since. I don’t feel I should have to pester on the topic.
“Is it wrong of me to want to give the baby my last name if he so chooses to not get married prior?”
People gave their opinion on the situation, as one wrote: “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to share a last name with your child.
“You could suggest to your partner giving the baby your last name and then when you get married in the future you and the baby will take on his last name. If that’s something you would like to do of course.
“You could also give the baby both surnames or one as a middle name. My brother is (First name) (Mothers maiden name) (Fathers surname).”
While another added: “If the dad wants the kid to have his last name, then he would have already offered to go to the courthouse.
“Out of marriage they are legally your kids and he has to file to be registered as their dad.
“They should get your name because you are the one legally tied to them. If you planned to change your name during marriage then you can change all your names after you get married if you do. If you don’t plan on changing your name then they keep your name.
“If he wanted to, he would. Don’t let him bully you into giving your children a legal name he hasn’t made any moves of his own to legally be tied to yet.”
Someone also said they had the same problem, writing: “I’m also facing the same issue, but my partner and I are common law with no plans to marry (and even if we did, I would keep my last name).
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“We have considered hyphenating our last names for our baby, which is common where we live, but both our last names are bulky and can be challenging to pronounce.
“We’ve also considered using one as a middle name, but then we’re not sure which. It’s not an easy decision.”