A Glasgow mum has opened up on her “traumatising” baby loss which has inspired her to donate equipment to a maternity unit in a bid to help other parents who experience stillbirths.
Melissa Thomson, 24, has said using a ‘cold cot’ (often known by the brand name CuddleCot) after the passing of her beautiful baby girl Millie helped give her a “bittersweet and beautiful” few days with her daughter before her funeral.
A cold cot is a refrigerated bassinet used to preserve a baby’s body after they have passed away, allowing families to make some memories with their wee one before saying goodbye. A cold cot typically allows families to spend around two to five days with their baby.
And Melissa, from Dalmarnock, was extremely grateful to the Princess Royal for giving her some time with Millie before she said goodbye.
View 4 ImagesMelissa and baby Millie(Image: GL)
After a normal pregnancy, Melissa first noticed something was wrong at 34 weeks, shortly after her birthday in 2023. She said pain in her back, leg and abdominal areas grew so bad that she was unable to walk.
After becoming increasingly unwell, she says she was initially “fobbed off” during a phone call to a midwife and referred to physio. And as the days went on, her condition worsened.
Melissa told Glasgow Live: “I had a really sharp pain up the right side of my stomach, and it made me slide down my door frame. I couldn’t move or feel my legs.
“My partner at the time had to physically lift me and carry me to bed. I was very unwell, and I didn’t feel Millie move after that.”
Melissa recalls frantically trying to get Millie to move, even doing exercises and star-jumps in her room through the night, but nothing was working.
View 4 ImagesMelissa says she visits Millie’s grave every day(Image: GL)
She added: “It was very chaotic, and it was very traumatising when I look back. There was something in me telling me that she wasn’t alive anymore.”
A trip to the hospital the following day sadly confirmed that Millie had passed away due to asymmetrical intrauterine foetal growth restriction. It occurs when a baby’s head and brain grow normally, while there is restriction in growth in their abdomen, sometimes caused by a lack of nutrients from placental insufficiency.
Mum-of-three Melissa, who also has daughter Maisie-Leigh, five, and sons Myles, two, and Mason, seven months, said she experienced a memory “blackout” after hearing the life-altering news.
Melissa said: “I wasn’t fully aware of what was happening, I was thinking ‘no, I’m going to deliver her and she’s going to cry, and it will all have been a big mistake’.”
View 4 ImagesMillie’s beautiful funeral was complete with a horse and carriage(Image: GL)
Millie was born sleeping by C-section on March 7, 2023, at 7.57pm, with Melissa’s mum’s wedding song, All of Me by John Legend, playing in the background.
Melissa said: “She had a full head of hair, everything was just perfect. She came out silent, with no cry. It was absolutely heartbreaking.”
But amid the tragedy, the “second to none” staff at the Princess Royal, including midwives Joyce and Stacey, provided Melissa with “outstanding care”, and a cold cot allowed her to make some amazing memories with Millie before she was laid to rest.
The mum said: “I spent five bittersweet but beautiful days with her. We made lots of memories and took lots of photos. I read storybooks to her. It wasn’t normal, but to us it was the only normal we were going to get.”
Melissa went “all out” to organise Millie a beautiful funeral, complete with doves and a horse and carriage, with the help of Fosters Funeral Directors. The mum, Millie’s dad and her eldest daughter even got to spend the night before her funeral together in the house as a “normal family of four” before they said goodbye.
Now, Melissa has been fundraising to “give something back” by donating a cold cot – which cost around £1,400 – to the Princess Royal, as well as making up care packages for other bereaved parents out of her own pocket. Melissa’s mum is also saving up money to donate another cot directly to the maternity ward.
Melissa said: “This amazing system gave me five beautiful days with Millie, and I truly want to give something back. [Baby loss] is an earth-shattering experience, and I feel every family is deserving of time – as that’s all they have.”
To donate towards Melissa’s fundraiser for a new cold cot for the Princess Royal, click here.
Melissa also wanted to thank charities Sands, Simba, 4Louis and Dresses for Angels for their support.
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