A Scots Iraq War veteran left homeless and suicidal has marked 15 years since the conflict ended by vowing to help other heroes.
Veteran Mac McLaren, 49, spoke about the impact of the war on his physical and mental health after he lost his leg and suffered years of trauma. He was among 1500 veterans who travelled to London yesterday for a ceremony to mark 15 years since the Iraq War ended on May 22 2011.
Mac, from Dumbarton, told how at one point he was so low at being homeless and suffering from severe PTSD he was seconds away from ending his life. He was ready to pull the handbrake of his car and plunge into the Clyde Estuary – until a single text message save his life.
Mac said: “I was homeless after I came back from Iraq. I ended up sitting in my car facing the Clyde and deciding whether to release the handbrake to end it.”
Mac, who served with the 1st Battalion Royal Highland Fusiliers, added: “But my OCD got the better of me when the notification went off on my phone. It was offering me a flat. “
View 9 ImagesSecretary of State for Defence John Healey lays a wreath during a Service of Remembrance at the National Memorial Arboretum in Alrewas, Staffordshire, to mark 15 years since the Iraq War. (Image: PA)
Mac suffered a debilitating leg injury during his service in Iraq, then endured years of chronic pain before making the difficult decision to have his leg amputated. But now he wants to play a part in helping other veterans overcome their mental and physical wounds.
He said: “It’s important for me to speak about it to help others. To tell them there is help out there from charities such as the Royal British Legion and The Stoll Foundation.”
He told how after returning from Iraq he was left homeless, explaining: “It was before the new things had been put in place, I didn’t earn enough housing points. I lived in my car in Dumbarton.”
He told how at his lowest ebb he drove to Dumbarton Castle and parked up.
View 9 ImagesAlan Douglas, from Aberdeen, who was shot and killed in Iraq
“I just thought ‘I’m done with it’. I’m going to take some paracetamol, release the handbrake and go to sleep. For me it’s emotional to speak about it but I want to help others.”
Other veterans and the families of those who died serving their country in Iraq also spoke movingly at yesterday’s rally. It was the day “everything changed” for Anna-Marie MacDonald, when two police officers arrived on Mother’s Day to reveal her dad had died in Iraq.
But little did she know there was more heartbreak to come. Last year her godfather, who served with her dad in Iraq, took his own life after suffering from PTSD. Anna-Marie, 27, a transport manager, now fears more will follow.
She said: “I am scared it will not end there. I worry for my father’s friends. “
View 9 ImagesAlexander Tweedie, who died in an accident in Iraq.
Walking to the Basra wall at the National Arboretum, the nation’s home of remembrance, Anna-Marie fought back tears as she was hugged and praised for her reading at Iraq15, a Royal British Legion event to mark the 15th anniversary of the end of the Iraq war. The service heard how 179 died and 6,000 were wounded during the war.
All their names are on the armed forces memorial including her dad Pte Joseva Lewaicei from the Royal Anglian Regiment who died in Iraq in 2006. But there are others too, whose names are not on that wall, those who died many years later with PTSD.
“It gives me great comfort to see my dad’s name here,” said Anna-Marie. “I was just seven when he died, when everything changed. It was Mother’s Day and the house was full of my family celebrating. That knock on the door changed everyone’s lives. I remember hearing it and I went to answer it. Standing there were two police officers and a man in a suit, they asked for my grandmother.
“Something told me not to follow them. I just remember hearing crying, wailing, from the other room. My grandmother called me in, and I don’t remember anything after that. “
View 9 ImagesLance Corporal Barry Stephen, 31, from Perth, who was killed in action in Iraq. (Image: PA)
Her dad had been part of a convoy when a roadside IED exploded underneath them. She said her memory has faded and she no longer remembers his smell or what he sounds like but she still remembers when his coffin was brought back to Fiji, where her family are from.
“When my father was brought home, I remember vividly waiting and hearing the sound of the boots of the soldiers carrying his coffin, long before it rounded the corner to meet us. That moment has replayed in my head so many times over the years.”
Her godfather and her dad’s best friend, Matthew Jones, from Lincoln, had travelled with her dad’s coffin. But Tragically last year he took his own life.
View 9 ImagesFusilier Gordon Gentle, who was killed on patrol in Basra on June 28, 2004(Image: PA)
Anna-Marie said: “It was a double heartbreak. It has broken my heart. It was the last piece of my father, he really loved my father. But he came back from Iraq a different person. I would tell (my godfather) how I loved him over and over again. But he found what he’d been through difficult to talk about. She said his last Facebook posts was talking about his pride to serve his country,”
“My dad’s ex army friends have helped a lot, they keep checking in on me. The loss has brought me a new family.”
The Revd Peter William King spoke about “the cost of courage” to the 1500 veterans and their families who attended. Another family who know the price so well is the widow and three children of Lieutenant Commander Darren Chapman, who was 40 years old, when his Lynx helicopter was shot down over Basra on May 6th 2006.
The crash killed all five personnel on board in one of the deadliest incidents for the British forces during the war. At the time of his death, his children Chloe, Ben and Georgina were aged 15, 13 and seven.
View 9 ImagesLance Corporal James McCue, 27, died as a result of injuries caused by an explosion in the south of the Iraq(Image: PA)
His widow, mum-of-three Liz Chapman, 61, from Yeovilton in Somerset, cried as she recalled the day of that knock on the door and the family received the most devastating news of their lives. It’s been 20 years and I still think he’s going to come back,” Liz says after the service.”
About the day they found out, she said: “My eldest remembers hearing the knock at the door from upstairs. She’s always been a light sleeper. She said she heard everyone go into the lounge and the silence that followed felt wrong somehow. Eventually she came downstairs and immediately realised something terrible had happened when she saw familiar faces there.
“I honestly can’t remember the exact words that were said to us. I just remember the feeling of sitting there while people talked, and knowing our lives had changed forever. “
She said it is the “firsts are always hard, passing driving tests, those sort of things. I don’t know how I am going to cope when they all get married.”
View 9 ImagesPrivate James (Jamie) Kerr The Black Watch, 3rd Battalion The Royal Regiment of Scotland, 20 years old from Cowdenbeath, who was killed in Basra, Iraq(Image: PA)
Her children are following in their dad’s footsteps, serving and protecting the public. Her son Ben is a fireman, Georgina, a nurse and Chloe is a police officer, who is expecting her first child in six and a half weeks.
“I know he would be incredibly proud of our children. Absolutely proud. They’ve all gone into caring and public service roles in different ways… They haven’t fallen far from the tree at all. They’re hardworking, empathetic and committed to helping people, just like their dad was. As a family, remembrance has always been important to us. We attend commemorations whenever we can because it matters to remember – not just Afghanistan, but Kuwait and Iraq too. Sometimes Iraq gets forgotten because Afghanistan followed so quickly afterwards, but for families like ours those experiences are all deeply connected.
“When I think of Darren now, I think about ordinary moments as much as anything else – singing in the car with the children, joking around, making everyone laugh. Those are the memories that stay with us most strongly.”
View 9 ImagesRobert Thomson was killed in Iraq during training exercise
Also at the event, a medic told how she was helping to save an Iraqi civilian when he tried to slit her throat. Celia ‘Mitch’ Mitchell, 65, who served in the Royal Navy, attended the commemorations on Friday to mark the 15th anniversary of the end of the Iraq War. She told how she was working in 34 Field Hospital in Shaibah, the first British medical unit to operate ahead of the front line since the Crimean War.
She was two miles forward of the front line treating Iraqi citizens and working as missiles flew over her head from in front and behind. It was not until 12 years after returning from Iraq she was diagnosed with PTSD.
“We were two miles in front of the front line. One time I was nearly slashed across the neck with a blade. I was treating his wounds and changing his dressings.
“You have to allow them to shave so they were given Bic razors but they were pulling them apart. I could see the guy fiddling around and I just moved back in time. I had to defend myself with a steel bedpan, it was a quick reaction. “
She says she still has “dark days” when she bursts into tears and “you ask yourself why am I here?’ It doesn’t stop when you come home, you can just burst into tears and don’t know what you are crying for. I have my medals and I feel proud…but you come home from the war, your body comes home but your mind stays there. That’s why I am glad our troops were not sent to Iran.”
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