Meeting at an ante-natal class run by the NCT in July 2003, Claire Walby, 54, remembers being drawn to “glamorous” Adrienne Cohen, when she entered the room in Chesham, Buckinghamshire. Recently moving there from London with her partner, she hardly knew anyone and mums at the primary school where she was teaching, alongside studying, advised her to join NCT classes. She says: “I remember being nervous going in. But I met around nine other couples and everyone was really friendly.”
Celebrating its 70th anniversary this year, the NCT supports women and parents through pregnancy, birth and beyond, with its nationwide networks and ante-natal classes – with a new antenatal class, offering more post-natal support launching this year.
Founded in 1956 by campaigner Prunella Briance and originally called the Natural Childbirth Association, the charity became the National Childbirth Trust in 1961 and now NCT. Its campaigning for improved services for women across pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period, has secured everything from birthing partners’ presence in delivery rooms, to 6 week postnatal GP checks centred on mental health.
View 6 ImagesAdrienne and Claire with the kids(Image: Supplied)
But NCT chief executive Angela McConville, also recognises the importance of the friendships formed through its antenatal classes. She says: “NCT’s impact isn’t just measured in milestones, it’s seen in the communities that pregnant women and parents build, in friendships that last decades.”
Claire and Adrienne definitely agree. As well as getting lots of useful information, Claire bonded so well with other expectant mums, she even obtained a childminder qualification, so she could help look after other ‘NCT class babies’. She says: “When we were on maternity leave, we’d go for coffee mornings and lunches when the babies were tiny, then play dates, picnics and baby groups.”
Now a company director and based in Swansea, Claire, who has two children, Ruby, 20, and Tabitha, 22, was particularly drawn to Adrienne. She says: “Adrienne struck me as very funny, witty and glamorous. I was just drawn to her.”
The feeling was mutual. Adrienne, 54, of Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire, says: ”I remember meeting Claire and thinking ‘this is my kind of person.’ She looked fabulous, was very funny and had that special something.” Claire’s baby Tabitha was breach, so she was given an early caesarean, while Adrienne was in labour for nearly 24 hours, and needed an assisted birth, after which baby Arabella spent time in neonatal intensive care.
View 6 ImagesAdrienne and Claire share an unbreakable bond(Image: Supplied)
Adrienne says: “I am quite a private person, but Claire is like a Mother Earth figure and very supportive, so we did talk about the births and how hard parenting was. I wouldn’t dream of sharing this with other friends. She was going through the experience at the same time.”
Moving to Wales in 2006, to be near her relatives, Claire says: “Adrienne and I stayed in touch, talking on the phone and texting each other. I remember her excitedly calling me when I was walking around Woolworths to tell me she was in hospital and had just given birth to her baby boy, Guy.”
The friendship drifted for a while, but when Adrienne spotted Claire’s Facebook post in April 2011, saying she’d become a single mum, she was also going through a break-up. Suggesting she visited her in Wales with her kids that weekend, their bond was instantly renewed and they began regular visits, every 5 to 6 weeks. Claire says: “It was like we’d never been apart.”
Supporting each other through their divorces and when their children were sick, Adrienne says: “We were each other’s rock. Claire was my 3am buddy, someone I could call or message when I wasn’t sleeping and finding it tough. We made each other laugh with gallows humour.”
View 6 ImagesAdrienne and Claire with all four kids, enjoying some special time together(Image: Supplied)
And when Claire married her husband, Martin, 57, an HGV business owner, on 3 December, 2022, Adrienne was one of her ‘best women,’ giving a speech. Recalling her hen party in Marrakech, Morocco, Claire says: “We had rooftop cocktails at sunset, massages and belly dancing lessons and a lot of love and laughter.”
Claire and Adrienne have also shared deep sorrow. Adrienne, who has been with her partner Dr Henry Fajemirokun for 18 months, turned to Claire when her son, Guy, died suddenly in March this year, in Vietnam, during his gap year. Adrienne says: “It was the worst day of my life. As soon as I could, I got on a plane to be with Guy. Claire was constantly messaging me to get me through those terrible days, getting up at 5.30am because of the time difference, to support me.
“As soon as I got back to the UK she was with me, and the day before Guy’s funeral, she stood in my kitchen helping me prepare food. She was instrumental in helping me make sure that I was able to make those final memories of Guy so very special for me, Arabella and everyone who joined us at his funeral.”
Claire says: “I find it crazy that I met Adrienne through an NCT class. Adrienne is my soulmate friend.” Adrienne says: “Claire means the world to me. Our friendship is an integral part of my soul. She is my chosen family. She is wise counsel, wonderfully funny, everything a woman and friend should be.”
Kate Skelton and Amy John became kindred spirits after meeting at an NCT class in November 2011. Amy, 42, a nurse and mum to Eva, 14, and Calvin, 11, says: ”I joined NCT as a way to learn more and meet other mums.” Kate, 44, a journalist and mum to James, 14, Annabelle, 11, and twins, Alex and Oliver, 7, says they helped each other when she had postnatal depression and Amy had postnatal anxiety, following horrendous deliveries.
View 6 ImagesKate Skelton and Amy John became kindred spirits after meeting at an NCT class in November 2011.(Image: Supplied)
Amy says: “When I met up with Kate around six weeks after the baby was born, the honesty was just so reassuring. We shared about how difficult our births had been and it felt like I wasn’t alone.” Kate, who moved to Bromley, south London – where both women live – two months before James was born, was ill and depressed through her first year of motherhood.
She says: “I also felt very isolated, because my husband, Phil, had started a new job. I was suddenly on my own with this new baby.” Meeting up with Amy when the babies were about six weeks old, Kate says: “I felt sheer relief and comfort. We’d meet up at each other’s houses and there would always be tea and cake.”
When Kate’s dad died from cancer in October 2013, Amy, who has a partner, supported her. And when Amy’s dad was diagnosed with cancer, Kate helped her through it. Amy’s second baby, Calvin, was born in October 2014, with Kate’s daughter, Annabelle, following two months later.
View 6 ImagesAmy with Kate’s daughter Annabelle(Image: Supplied)
When Annabelle – who has a rare, life limiting condition and multiple disabilities – was in intensive care, aged 10 months, with a virus, Amy visited every day. Kate says: ”I remember being honest with her and saying, ‘why is Calvin fine? Why has this happened to me?’ I isolated myself from everyone, but Amy stuck by me. She is the most caring, compassionate person in my life.”
When they both lost pregnancies in 2019, they consoled each other. But they’ve also had lots of fun – enjoying nights out and holidays together. Amy also chose Annabelle as her flower girl at her wedding in August, 2017. The occasion was made even more special, when Annabelle took her first steps there. Kate says: “I was in floods of tears. It was so special.” Amy adds: “When I walked into an NCT class I had no idea that it would give me such an amazing friend, who feels like a sister.”
*Celebrating 70 years, NCT is now providing new antenatal classes and tailored, inclusive support and campaigns. Find out how you can get involved at nct.org.uk
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