A Kerry man who subjected his wife to what a judge called a “relentless and torturous” campaign of abuse has been jailed for a year after striking her with a livestock whip while she held a child.
Cork’s Central Criminal Court heard how the man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, carried out the abuse across two decades, punching the woman in the face, grabbing her by the throat and knocking her to the ground when she was pregnant, Cork Live reports.
The victim, in her forties, described one horrific incident after she’d temporarily fled the man when he referred to their home, threatening: “I will burn you in it you c*** before you live in it.”
View 2 ImagesThe man was jailed at Cork Circuit Criminal Court(Image: CorkBeo/Thomas Lawrance)
The defendant initially told the probation service that he was being blamed for everything, claiming he was in fact the victim. He detailed his traditional values and how a short fuse ‘ran in the family’, to offer an excuse for his coercive behaviour. He has since expressed remorse.
The offences relate to incidents carried out from January 1st 2019 to September 8th, 2020. However, this was only because this was the only period in which his abuse was covered under Ireland’s then newly introduced coercive control law.
In September 2020, the woman told her abusive partner that she was leaving him for good, having suffered “relentless and torturous” physical and verbal abuse over a period of two decades.
He would blame her if she had her period when he wanted to have sex and made regular sexual demands of her. The woman indicated that she freezes at the memory of her now ex-husband hissing the word “c**t” at her.
Ms Justice Siobhan Lankford described to the court how, during the abuse, the victim would wish she was dead. The man routinely hurled insults at her, as revealed in her victim impact statement.
She said that her life was a constant cycle of being degraded and mocked by her then-husband for her appearance and weight as he undermined and criticised her every effort in life.
Ensure our latest stories always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as your Preferred Source in your Google search settings.
On one occasion referenced in the brave statement, she recalled an incident when she refused to have sex with him; he said that she had “energy for everything else” and that he was “well down the list”. The defendant also had an affair, which was allegedly uncovered when he sent a text to his then-wife instead of the woman he was seeing.
The victim was on holiday with her in-laws when she received the text. She added that she spent a lot of time crying in her bedroom as the foul language towards her never stopped.
“It is so difficult to put into words the full extent and effect of coercive control – but the two words I would use are relentless and torturous. The constant critical and demeaning running commentary in everything I did – the name-calling never stopped.
“He controlled who I could be friends with and tried to turn me against my own family.”
She described how her husband tried to isolate her and control who she did or didn’t see.
“Everyone was walking on eggshells (around him). If he was not happy, then nobody could be happy. Even if he was 200 miles away, he would still have the ability to instil fear in me.
“I would give in to his demands just to have peace in the house. No matter what I did it was never good enough. I was exhausted from trying to please. I was stuck in a vicious pattern of control.
“I started to realise that all his actions were premeditated. I became a shell of myself. I thought about taking my own life. I thought I would be better off dead. I just could not take it anymore.
“I could not continue to live this way. I knew I had to leave the relationship for my children. I did not bring children into this world to be living the way we were living.”
“It was my children that gave me the strength and courage to end the relationship.”
The man who has four previous convictions, and who previously spent time in prison arising from a fatal incident, admitted that he “knowingly and persistently engage in behaviour that was controlling and coercive with the intention of having a serious effect on the relevant person.”
Defence barrister Brendan Grehan SC, told the court that his client had self-referred to a programme called Men Overcoming Violent Emotions (MOVE). Mr Grehan stressed that there wasn’t “any exemption for (the family) temper under the law.”
Ms Justice Lankford commended the victim in the case for her “courage” in the face of adversity. She set a headline sentence of two and a half years.
Article continues below
Taking the plea and his remorse into consideration, the judge jailed the man for 18 months, suspending the final six months of the sentence.
The man has to contact the probation service if he enters into a new relationship. The service will then inform the new partner of his conviction. He also has to abide by all the directions of the probation service, including attending for assessments and relevant treatment.